


i've loved and i've lost, but that's not what i see

by fromedens



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bisexual Haruno Sakura, Gen, Happy Ending, Mokuton!Sakura if you squint, Plants. A ton of them, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24171373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromedens/pseuds/fromedens
Summary: you're not much of a rose after all, you find. roses are beautiful, something to be admired and protected, but you're far from itif anything, you're more like a dandelion. not really an eyecatcher, but you adapt quickly, capable of growing no matter where, or what is thrown on you.if a flower cannot thrive you change the environment, not the plant, ino had said a few days ago, and so you did-written a little tipsy and in my feelings at 2 am and absolutely not proofread. started writing it, had a breakdown, bon appetit
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	i've loved and i've lost, but that's not what i see

_may the flowers remind us_

_ why the rain was so necessary  _

\- xan oku

* * *

you're four when you meet a girl as bright and lovely as nature. she's soil and nutrients, raising a tiny, almost hopeless seed up, curling around you like the thorns do the rose, protecting you from the evil around you

spring is your favourite season. it makes you feel warm and happy and _whole_. and even if it's a silly thing to think, you always kind of feel like spring with her

* * *

there's a boy in the village with a smile like lavender. he's kind and shy, always chasing after stray cats and his brother. he's quite lovely, too, you think whenever you see him, yellow and orange and red blooming in your ribcage

* * *

roses can protect themselves, you foolishly think as you shuck off your thorns. it's not a surprise that you don't survive for long, but you've planted seeds in the soil and wait for the next rain to come

* * *

you're twelve when they put you in a group with the same boy, now as sour as april rain. he's overwhelming, flooding the soil around you whenever he can

but the sun, in the form of a boy shining ten times as bright, intervenes every time seeds threaten to break through and run off into the river

they're too much, both of them, but eventually, given enough time and love, the seeds will begin to prosper

* * *

you're thirteen when the rain turns into a heavy storm, clouding the sun for longer than anyone is comfortable with. you feel yourself rise out of the soil and run towards the river, find yourself asking if you'll ever feel like spring again, but the sun trying desperately to peak through the clouds gives you pause, and more hope than you could ever ask for

* * *

your newest teacher,  _mother figure_ , is something else. something strong, but with too many scars. she's seen things, things that nobody would want to see. it's hard to compare her to a flower, because she's so much more. she's all of nature, a force to be reckoned with and you cling to her, lonely and the one left behind and falling, and she teaches you how to root, rise, and bloom

* * *

a man that looks like a boy, lonelier than anyone you've ever come across, ends up being a turning point for you. terrifying, you think, what loneliness and anger and hurt and too much power and genius can turn you into

you invite ino over to eat dinner at the hokage tower the next day. being with her and your mother and sister figure and your new squeaky hoofed friend is the closest you've been to spring in a long time

* * *

you're not much of a rose after all, you find. roses are beautiful, something to be admired and protected, but you're far from it

if anything, you're more like a dandelion. not really an eyecatcher, but you adapt quickly, capable of growing no matter where, or what is thrown on you. _if a flower cannot thrive you change the environment, not the plant_ , ino had said a few days ago, and so you did

some people see you as a herb, capable of healing. some people think you're beautiful in your wild simplicity, but most people see you as a weed to be trampled on

and that's fine. you bloom for yourself and others can, kindly, go fuck themselves

* * *

you're seventeen and the end of the world is upon you. rain and sun, against all odds and differences, band together, leaving you behind once again

but you're not a kid anymore. you can destroy planes of earth and soil as easily as you can restore them. you're nature in its rawest form, leaving enemies to get buried beneath your punches and impaled on your branches

you're seventeen and strong, thriving, _blooming_ , and it's their turn to watch your back for once

* * *

the rain goes as quickly as it comes, but this time it leaves a beautiful trail of azaleas, rainflowers and sweet pea in its wake

* * *

you're twenty three and you lie with a woman wrapped around you like ivy, the rain long forgotten

like most days, she's quick to fall asleep on your shoulder after a long shift, your arm wrapped around her torso to keep her from tumbling off the side of the bed. half hearted grumbles interrupt you and you put your novel on the nightstand, your rings clacking together as she intertwines your hands

you press a sprig of azalea and a white tulip the next day, in case a certain messenger hawk lands on your windowsill, and replace the rainflowers in your yard with lavender and jasmine

* * *

spring, you find, has never been so lovely

* * *

_this is the recipe of life_

said my mother

as she held me in her arms as i wept

_think of those flowers you plant_

_in the garden each year_

_they will teach you_

_that people too_

_must wilt_

_fall_

_root_

_rise_

_in order to bloom_

\- rupi kaur

**Author's Note:**

> this got... awfully deep and elaborate and way too fucking pretentious!! for something inspired by thank u next lol. It's super jumbled and a mess but I had a few feelings I needed to get out, so here we are. I might go back and rewrite this at some point (I most definitely won't) because I'm not super happy with it, but I knew if I didn't post it soon I never would. I promise my writing's usually better than this though lol
> 
> for the plant illiterate, like me:
> 
>  **lavender:** relaxation and comfort  
>  **orange rose:** “I want you in my life.”  
>  **yellow/red rose:** “I'm falling in love with you”  
>  **dandelion:** overcoming hardship  
>  **azalea:** gratitude, “take care.”  
>  **rainflower/rain lily:** multiple meanings, chosen for “I must atone for my sins.” and “I won’t forget you.”  
>  **sweet pea:** gratitude, farewell  
>  **ivy:** eternity, fidelity, strong affectionate attachment  
>  **white tulip:** forgiveness, remembrance  
>  **jasmine:** meanings are all over the place, chosen for unconditional and eternal love


End file.
